Here’s another blog i begun a few months ago… its time to finish up with some of the old.. to allow the new to come forth…
Friday night i fought with myself whether to go out or not… as i have shut myself off from the world over the last year, socializing only when i needed to. So trying to get back out there can be a little scary. So i made a decision and just …. did it. I went to the local pub for dinner.
I ordered my meal, grabbed a beer and found somewhere to sit, it seemed all the tables were taken; a full house, so i pulled up a bar stool and sat there. Higher than everyone else… where everyone could see me – full visual, as i was facing out towards them all. I felt like i was on display for all to see, an object in the shop window, uncomfortable, fidgeting, felt like everyone was watching me.. (slightly exaggerated in my mind, not everyone, just some). So i sat there enjoyed my meal and beer – something for my hands and mind to focus on and of course the cricket on TV (i dislike cricket, but there was no where else to look).
I man approached me, introduced himself and asked me questions, name, am i local, what do i do, etc…… so uncomfortable as i was not there to be picked up by someone, there to meet people yes….. So i continued to sit, watch the different groups and the dynamics, most were local, a table of 4 men from Gold Coast… there on a golfing weekend, interesting to listen as they got more and more intoxicated. hahahah… and then they started to sing… Oh boy!
As i sat watching and waiting for karaoke to start (not that i was joining in on that) a lady approaches and asked if I’m on my own… i just stared at her, didn’t say anything at first (she probably thought i was mentally challenged or something)….. as she asked me to join her and her friends. I suppose I’d been sitting there for well over an hour and no one really paid any attention. So i took my stunned mullet look over to their table.
Sat there like an idiot, that lost little child way out of her comfort zone – but they all welcomed me in, asked me a lot of questions. Accepted by people who knew nothing about me, no judgement, just acceptance. Didn’t try to change me, offered to buy me drinks, a couple of job offers, and friendship, inviting me to join them next fortnight. Wow… a few times tears were sitting there ready to fall. I hadn’t felt this much acceptance in a long time. I am a local… new and fresh blood, but a local being welcomed in to the fold. Observing the friendships, relationships and bonds they all had with one another…… something that is very hard to find. Something that i want!
So i took myself out of my comfort zone and decided to enjoy the rest of the night with my new found friends….. enjoying the laughter, the singing, the bantering, the conversation and welcomed in the new…..